So, I was watching television with my sister an hour ago. A few minutes into watching MasterChef, she flipped through random channels and tossed me the remote. "There's nothing good on TV these days, it's useless.", she complained as she left the room.
I just sat there on my bean bag clutching the remote. "She's right.", I thought. She got me thinking. Tele is shit now, isn't it? I mean, whatever happened to the golden age? 90s television, aye? I honestly think my parents nailed the time of reproduction when they gave birth to me in 1992.
All I did during my childhood was sit around in the living room with my other baby friends, just watching one magnificent show after another.
"Why don't you boys study?", our mothers would yell and we would go "Somebody Stop Mehhh!".
CatDog, Sponge bob, Pokemon, Tom and Jerry, Swat Cats, Courage the Cowardly Dog, Johnny Bravo, Dexter's Lab, oh the joy! I can go on and on. And don't think, 'Hey, this guy is just talking about cartoons.' No! The adverts too, brilliant! I remember the expression on my mum's face when I asked her what whisper was. 'It's a medical bag used to treat diseases, sweetheart.' Fair enough.
Now, I'm laughing.
But hey, I guess I'm just sad. Sad for the kids of today. The shit they have to watch on tele. Have you seen the advert where this guy is driving a car, he suddenly whips out a pair of sunglasses, turns to his wife and goes 'Honey, I'm a Secret Agent' and then, drives like a coke-addled maniac. They believe they are hinting at the outstanding performance of the vehicle. Oh, well.
So, can you really blame people when they say they don't watch television anymore? That is why everyone's on Facebook all the time. Adverts nowadays have literally killed the essence of TV. Think about it. At any given point in time, you switch to a certain channel, chances are you'll find yourself in the middle of an ad. The IPL for instance, they introduced seven and a half minute time-outs to fit ads in. Can you believe that? 'It's a tactical time-out to discuss game stratergies', they said. Yeah right, you mongoloids.
Talking about reality shows, someone please punch me in the gizzards. There are these shows where 4 year olds are put through gruelling training sessions, dance sessions and you put this on their heads. 'You! You are destined to be India's next Dancing Star! Work harder! You're wasting the potential you have!', the judges bark at these sweet little kids making them cry. What could you do when you were four, man? You probably sat in your living room and chewed on furniture. Stop ruining their childhood! What the fuck is wrong with you people? She's 4! Leave her and her Barbie princess the fuck alone, you freaks!
Coming to MasterChef, It's just food, guys. Chill out. Gordon Ramsay, he's a mystical creature, isn't he? How someone can get so angry about dinner is well beyond me. 'There's not enough seasoning in this pizza you've made. Fuck yourself. You shouldn't even be alive.' Have people always been this angry? Food and cooking, they're supposed to be about love, family, friends. But, here they are, these people, this show, it's like 'There's 90 minutes to go. Get those dishes up, now! You're fate hangs in the balance!'.
Also, there's this new show on Star World, 'Love 2 Hate U.' Hahahahaha.
Basically, what it is, it's a reality show where they find people who really hate a celebrity and bring them face to face with that celebrity. The people then express their hate towards the celebrity and the celebrity talks to the hater and explains why he/she does the shit he/she does and somehow makes peace. FASCINATING. (Sarcasm, you poof.) I really don't understand how someone can hate someone so much - the celebrity, somebody you don't even know? I mean, sure, you see an actor on screen and you're not really a fan, you say, "Awh, he's shit." and you walk away. Yeah? Well, that is normal. Would you see the guy on screen, think he's shit but then 'Wait. I have to do something about this. I can't possibly let him get away with this!' ? Do you? 'Cause let me tell you, that is not normal. I checked out the promo where Arjun Rampal, the Bollywood actor meets his hater and goes 'Hey dude, I'm Arjun Rampal. You want to talk about me?'. Why couldn't the hater be a normal person and say 'No dude. I have a life.'?
Aah, screw it. I'm happy now. I just googled 90s Nickelodeon Shows and I found 'Legends of the Hidden Temple'. I'm going to download episodes of that, now.
And now, I'm not really sure why I'm thinking of chocolate. Umm. I love chocolate. When you think of chocolate, you think of something brown.
Hey, if you think of White chocolate first, well then, you're fucking racist.
I just sat there on my bean bag clutching the remote. "She's right.", I thought. She got me thinking. Tele is shit now, isn't it? I mean, whatever happened to the golden age? 90s television, aye? I honestly think my parents nailed the time of reproduction when they gave birth to me in 1992.
All I did during my childhood was sit around in the living room with my other baby friends, just watching one magnificent show after another.
"Why don't you boys study?", our mothers would yell and we would go "Somebody Stop Mehhh!".
CatDog, Sponge bob, Pokemon, Tom and Jerry, Swat Cats, Courage the Cowardly Dog, Johnny Bravo, Dexter's Lab, oh the joy! I can go on and on. And don't think, 'Hey, this guy is just talking about cartoons.' No! The adverts too, brilliant! I remember the expression on my mum's face when I asked her what whisper was. 'It's a medical bag used to treat diseases, sweetheart.' Fair enough.
Now, I'm laughing.
But hey, I guess I'm just sad. Sad for the kids of today. The shit they have to watch on tele. Have you seen the advert where this guy is driving a car, he suddenly whips out a pair of sunglasses, turns to his wife and goes 'Honey, I'm a Secret Agent' and then, drives like a coke-addled maniac. They believe they are hinting at the outstanding performance of the vehicle. Oh, well.
So, can you really blame people when they say they don't watch television anymore? That is why everyone's on Facebook all the time. Adverts nowadays have literally killed the essence of TV. Think about it. At any given point in time, you switch to a certain channel, chances are you'll find yourself in the middle of an ad. The IPL for instance, they introduced seven and a half minute time-outs to fit ads in. Can you believe that? 'It's a tactical time-out to discuss game stratergies', they said. Yeah right, you mongoloids.
Talking about reality shows, someone please punch me in the gizzards. There are these shows where 4 year olds are put through gruelling training sessions, dance sessions and you put this on their heads. 'You! You are destined to be India's next Dancing Star! Work harder! You're wasting the potential you have!', the judges bark at these sweet little kids making them cry. What could you do when you were four, man? You probably sat in your living room and chewed on furniture. Stop ruining their childhood! What the fuck is wrong with you people? She's 4! Leave her and her Barbie princess the fuck alone, you freaks!
Coming to MasterChef, It's just food, guys. Chill out. Gordon Ramsay, he's a mystical creature, isn't he? How someone can get so angry about dinner is well beyond me. 'There's not enough seasoning in this pizza you've made. Fuck yourself. You shouldn't even be alive.' Have people always been this angry? Food and cooking, they're supposed to be about love, family, friends. But, here they are, these people, this show, it's like 'There's 90 minutes to go. Get those dishes up, now! You're fate hangs in the balance!'.
Also, there's this new show on Star World, 'Love 2 Hate U.' Hahahahaha.
Basically, what it is, it's a reality show where they find people who really hate a celebrity and bring them face to face with that celebrity. The people then express their hate towards the celebrity and the celebrity talks to the hater and explains why he/she does the shit he/she does and somehow makes peace. FASCINATING. (Sarcasm, you poof.) I really don't understand how someone can hate someone so much - the celebrity, somebody you don't even know? I mean, sure, you see an actor on screen and you're not really a fan, you say, "Awh, he's shit." and you walk away. Yeah? Well, that is normal. Would you see the guy on screen, think he's shit but then 'Wait. I have to do something about this. I can't possibly let him get away with this!' ? Do you? 'Cause let me tell you, that is not normal. I checked out the promo where Arjun Rampal, the Bollywood actor meets his hater and goes 'Hey dude, I'm Arjun Rampal. You want to talk about me?'. Why couldn't the hater be a normal person and say 'No dude. I have a life.'?
Aah, screw it. I'm happy now. I just googled 90s Nickelodeon Shows and I found 'Legends of the Hidden Temple'. I'm going to download episodes of that, now.
And now, I'm not really sure why I'm thinking of chocolate. Umm. I love chocolate. When you think of chocolate, you think of something brown.
Hey, if you think of White chocolate first, well then, you're fucking racist.
