Who are Girls?

For the first few years of my life, I didn't really know anything about girls at all. I remember wondering why Mom looked different than Dad, why they wore different outfits. I remember over-hearing older guys in school talking about how they had seen naked pictures of girls in books and on the Internet. Girls also seemed to be the topic of almost all movies I watched. I wondered why songs always praised a girl. So, at the age of 10, I concluded that girls were a mysterious kind of people who men were obsessed with and would someday do stuff to me that people do in English movies.

When I got older, say when I was 13, I realised girls had different body parts than I did. I was angry at girls because they did not have to cut their hair while my Dad took me to "Barber Uncle" who scared me. I wondered why girls were always polite and sweet while guys shouted a lot. I was shocked when I first saw a guy kiss a girl on TV and I remember Dad telling me "It's just TV, son. Not real life." I wasn't really sure because I had learnt by now that guys and girls are not the same and they can do stuff to each other that guys cannot do to each other but I believed him anyway.

I was still really confused about girls. I liked them but I did not know how to talk to them. I asked my parents and they said that mine was not the age to think about girls and I should just study and get good grades.

I think I had my first real date when I was about 14. There was this girl in class I really liked and I invited over to my place to play Snake and Ladder. I tried my best to impress her by showing her how fast I rode a bike on Road Rash and I also let her win the snake and ladder game because I didn't want her to feel like a total loser. 

When I was about 16, I started hanging out with girls a lot more and I thought I had understood girls to a certain extent, now. I discovered that girls were the same as guys except for the fact that they were insanely sensitive, they cried a lot and they always cared about how pretty they look. I wondered why girls almost never played the sports I would play. I noticed they always carried around a tiny purse that contained lipsticks, eye-liners, lip-gloss and miniature mirrors. I noticed girls laughed a lot at all my jokes and how they mildly punched me on the shoulder when I made fun of them. On the contrary, guys would punch me in the face when I made fun of them, especially if I made fun of them in front of girls.

I'm 18 now and I see a lot of my friends in relationships with girls. I wonder why girls go "eeeeeeeee" when they're excited. It amuses me how girls just can't stop bitching about other girls, how much money they spend on designer wear and cosmetics, how they spend a thousand bucks or more to get their hair done whereas I get my hair cut by the same "Barber Uncle" in under 15 minutes for 50 bucks. It amuses me how they find painting each other nails fun, how they plan for a week to go clubbing, how they take pictures of themselves everywhere they go, how they manage to look so beautiful all the time. I think I've learnt quite a few things about these mysterious creatures in my 18 years. Girls never cease to amaze me.

Although, what fascinates girls to take pictures of themselves in the loo, I will never know. 

What is so intriguing about a toilet?